Let’s Talk Geese Y’all…
Being a country girl my whole life, I have been around and taken care of every animal you can have on a farm. So, when I finally had the chance to see the geese that also enjoy our campus, I never thought of how they could be a problem for anyone, because who doesn’t know how to act around geese? I discovered last semester that some do not.
A classmate recounted a story of a run-in they had with one of our school geese. By the end of the hilarious retelling of their encounter, I had counted three things they had done wrong: they hollered at them, then raised their arms to scare the geese, but rushed at them instead of backing away, and then, in their panic, they did a 180 and ran. When I managed to stop laughing, I told my classmate that they would not be making friends anytime soon, like that. They informed me, “I wasn’t trying to make friends then, I was just trying to get away!”
Now I know I can’t possibly be the only country person at our school, and hopefully, they are helping others. However, just in case, I thought it would be nice to give all my classmates and our instructors a fighting chance if confronted by our eagle mascot’s feathered cousins. So, without further ado…
Let’s Learn Something About Our Feathered Friends
I bet y’all did not know that geese are monogamous. They mate for life, unlike some other critters. It means they will defend their mate and family to the death, if need be. That is an ingrained, animal instinct for most. Many homo sapiens will not go that far. Like most wildlife, if cornered or threatened, geese will also stand and fight. That said, breeding and nesting season is probably their worst aggressive time, March through June. If we can survive those few months, the rest of the year is a piece of cake. Another thing you might enjoy knowing is that if one gets sick or injured and has to stay behind, or drop out of formation, two healthy ones will stay to help protect their family member; that is loyalty, my classmates. Now, how do you…
Survive a Goose Attack, You Will Not Win?
According to Biology Insights, geese generally start by hissing. It is a low hiss and hard to hear unless you get fairly close; in this day and age, with everyone using earbuds, it would really make it hard for a person to hear. So, stay aware of your surroundings. Their next course of action against intruders is honking loudly. Y’all should be able to hear this over your earbuds. Biology Insights’ tips are spot on; however, I noticed there is no mention of neck vibrations in the attack warnings. No, head bobbing is not the vibration I am speaking of. Their heads may be up or lowered, but if they are vibrating from their heads to the base of their necks, it is not from the love they feel for you. Also, if you feel the need to speak to them, do so calmly as you back away; no matter how crazy it sounds, it will help calm you both. Those wings are big when they spread open, and they hurt. Which leads us to…
Will It Hurt When I Get Hit by Those Big Ole’ Wings?
Have y’all ever been hit with a baseball? I do not mean a baseball thrown at you. I am talking about being hit by a baseball struck with a bat by a batter looking to make a home run, and he connects; a line drive. That is the kind of pain you could feel; it depends on how far your fight for survival is taken. And if contact is made, there will be bruising with an awesome welt, yes, everywhere you are hit. In Popular Science, we discover that biting from a goose is not the norm. If you are bitten, the skin is usually broken because their bills are serrated like a steak knife, top and bottom, and the geese use them like little saws. The pinching they can do with their bill is a fun experience, too. In fact, either of those things is preferable to being beaten with those big, bad wings. Finally…
To Wrap This Up
I have liked the line in the movie Rampage that Dwayne Johnson’s character says, ever since I heard him say it, “If animals like you, they lick you; if they don’t, they eat you.” That is not necessarily how it happens, but close enough. Unlike humans, animals never have unnecessary drama; all we have to do is pay attention. Additionally, we need to show not just our school geese, but all animals, a little respect. Many wildlife species have embedded migration routes, not just birds. Just because we clear and build does not change their routes.
One more beneficial thing that geese bring to the table, y’all might like to know: many breeds make awesome guard dogs. In Yard Life, Canada geese, like the ones I often see in the yard, happen to be one of those breeds. With our school in a secluded, wooded area, it is a good idea to see what they might be barking at if y’all hear them sounding off. Coyotes do not have to be rabid to come out in the daylight. Now, once more…
How You Will Survive a Goose Attack
- Pay attention to your surroundings. If you miss the hissing, hear the honking.
- If you get to the part where the goose advances, keep eye contact, back away as quickly as is safely possible, and talk to them calmly.
- If you choose to make yourself bigger by opening your jacket or throwing your hands over your head, do not rush at them; continue backwards.
- NEVER turn your back and run, unless you are looking for an adventure, and possible rear-end damage.
- Carry something that can be used as a block between you and the goose, if the confrontation gets that far. Backpack, notebook, umbrella, and if needed, throw your jacket over their head, then turn and run.